Domestic abuse doesn’t always begin with a black eye or a broken bone. Sometimes, it starts with a raised voice, a controlling glance, or a creeping sense of fear that becomes part of your daily life. These signs can be subtle — so subtle, in fact, that many victims don’t realise they’re living in abuse. That’s why self-assessment matters. It offers a private, empowering way for individuals to step back, reflect, and recognise that what they’re experiencing may not be okay.
Domestic Abuse: It’s Not Always Visible
When people think of domestic violence, the mind often goes to physical harm — but the reality is much broader. Abuse can take many forms: psychological, emotional, financial, digital, sexual, or coercive control. In fact, coercive control — a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation, and control — is now a criminal offence under UK law. You can learn more about this from Women’s Aid on coercive control.
Victims may not always recognise the danger they’re in, especially if the abuse isn’t physical. That’s why early, accessible screening is critical — and self-assessment tools are proving to be one of the most vital ways to support this.
What Is a Domestic Violence Self-Assessment?
A self-assessment is typically a digital or paper-based tool that walks individuals through key questions designed to evaluate the dynamics of their relationship. It helps explore whether they feel safe, free to make their own choices, respected, and emotionally supported.
For example, the UK’s DASH Risk Checklist (Domestic Abuse, Stalking and Honour-Based Violence) is a widely used tool that can identify high-risk cases. These assessments ask questions like:
Do you feel afraid of your partner?
Does your partner control your money or isolate you from family and friends?
Has the behaviour become worse over time?
These tools don’t diagnose — instead, they open up a doorway to reflection and, ultimately, to help.
Why Self-Assessment Tools Matter More Than Ever
1. They Restore a Sense of Power
In abusive relationships, power is often taken away. Self-assessment puts the individual back in control. It’s not about someone else pointing fingers — it’s about empowering people to come to their own realisations, in their own time, in a safe and supportive space.
2. Early Intervention Prevents Escalation
When red flags are recognised early, it can prevent further emotional trauma, physical danger, or long-term psychological harm. Many people don’t know they’re in an abusive relationship until it’s reached crisis point. A self-assessment can be the alarm bell that goes off before things get worse.
3. Private, Confidential, and Non-Judgemental
Many victims aren’t ready — or able — to talk to someone directly. Whether through fear, embarrassment, or not wanting to be disbelieved, they stay silent. Online or app-based assessments, like those found on platforms such as Refuge’s National Domestic Abuse Helpline, offer a non-invasive route to start exploring what’s happening — without pressure.
4. It Normalises Help-Seeking Behaviour
Encouraging the use of self-assessment tools helps shift societal attitudes. It breaks the idea that asking for help is shameful or weak. Instead, it promotes a culture where questioning relationship dynamics is not only accepted but expected — creating safer communities for everyone.
How Shoorah Supports This Movement
At Shoorah, we believe in proactive mental health and wellbeing support. Our app includes wellbeing check-ins, journaling tools, and anonymous prompts that can help users assess their relationships and emotional safety. We’re exploring partnerships to integrate self-assessment tools directly into our platform, empowering users to reflect privately while also being signposted to specialist help. Because mental health support must include safety.
Self-Assessment Saves Lives
Domestic violence thrives in silence — and self-assessment helps break that silence. It’s a gentle, yet powerful tool that invites people to pause and reflect. It helps individuals realise that what they’re experiencing is not “just a bad relationship” — it might be abuse. And that realisation is the first courageous step toward change.
Let’s continue to embed these tools in healthcare, education, mental health platforms, workplaces, and community spaces. When people have safe ways to explore their situation, they’re more likely to seek support — and far more likely to escape the cycle of abuse for good.
